Do you say yes when you mean no and then privately feel resentful? If you find yourself yielding to yes and disregarding the internal no, you probably have a tendency to betray yourself when you make decisions. Only when you can regularly make choices that include "no", "maybe", "how about something else", as well as "yes", can you make decisions that support your well being.

All of us make a decision every now and then that does not serve us well. However, over time, your decisions accumulate and create a strong pull either closer or further away from what you need and want.

One of the main drawbacks to overriding the "no" and saying "yes" is that you limit yourself to making choices you do not want. You then create situations that actually go against your own needs. "Yes" can become a common but insidious habit. It is easy to rationalize personal betrayal as worthy because at least you did it to support others and that at least you look like a reliable support person to others.

This heroism turns into misfortune because you derail your own goals. Letting yourself down may seem insignificant because only you know what was lost. However, you also create chronic stress when you deny your own needs, as our bodies and minds will testify.

Think of the times when you said "yes" as your body or mind flinched in objection. Did you feel a sense of gloom, sadness, or stab of resentment over what you just signed yourself up for? Your body just registered the personal betrayal. It will keep reminding you with the same wave of gloom and sadness until you get back in the driver’s seat and change your course.

Next time you are about to say "yes", when you mean "no", think about what you are creating. What will this produce? Do you really want to create that? Project yourself into the probable future that will unfold with each choice that you are considering. Do this to simply test the water, to get the feel for what you are creating. See how you feel. Ask yourself "Is this really what I want?" And then you can make a responsible choice.

It is important to remember that EVERY decision you make is significant. When you put your needs equal among others, then you can radically increase the quality of your life. In order to successfully pursue your own goals, it is important to say yes when you mean yes, no when you mean no, and maybe when you mean maybe.

By learning to say no when you feel it internally you can begin to consciously, purposefully, and actively create experiences that you do want, instead of suffering through experiences you don’t want. This simple act of honoring the no within is a powerful step in supporting your well being.