Studies
show that the average person has about 60,000 thoughts a day, most
of them we had yesterday, and many of them are negative. Our negative
thoughts become well worn habits that become the blueprint for our
lives in which you get to suffer, wither, and die a little more
each day. Just like you are what you eat, you become what you think.
Suppose
you have a situation that isn’t working for you right now.
You can tell if you have a death story if you hear yourself talking
about a never-ending complaint about a situation or person, and
your thoughts are preoccupied with what is wrong.
When
your thoughts stay focused on your negative emotions of sadness,
frustration, or maybe disappointment the negative focus inflicts
continuous doses of pain which can overwhelm you, and then paralysis
takes over. This scenario keeps you passive about problem solving.
Because
your energy is spent on what is not, you stay down in the
trenches of status quo which prevents you from seeing any positive
options on the horizon. Although your story may be seem very true,
you lose power when you focus on what is missing.
In
contrast, life stories acknowledge when something is not working
and reorients your thinking on what you do want, would like to feel,
and what you can do to improve your situation. Life stories are
not about denial of negative emotions but about choosing to try
on feelings you do want. When you avail yourself to them they give
you energy and motivation for action. For instance, you can feel
helpless for awhile and then move toward considering what being
capable could feel like. Trying on the positive emotion of feeling
capable just to see what it would be like can lift you out of the
depressing trenches, you can view positive options, and you can
use the muscle for being your own change agent.
Whenever
you have a situation that isn’t working, observe whether you
are developing the muscle for a death story or a life story. Death
stories keep you trapped and depressed. Life stories are calls for
action to do something that moves you closer to what you want. The
positive orientation manages stress and gives you back your life
because you gain power when you focus on what you want.